Rewards without bribes: motivation that lasts

Sticker charts. Allowance for chores. A treat for reading a book. Rewards are everywhere in family life, and they often work, in the short run. The question is what happens next.

The famous drawing study

In a classic 1973 study, psychologists Mark Lepper, David Greene and Richard Nisbett worked with preschoolers who already loved drawing. They split the children into three groups:

1. Kids told in advance they'd get a "Good Player" certificate for drawing
2. Kids who got the same certificate as a surprise
3. Kids who got no reward

Later, during free play, the children who had been promised the reward spent noticeably less time drawing than the other two groups. The surprise group and the no-reward group didn't differ.

The researchers called this the overjustification effect: when you're given an outside reason to do something you already enjoy, your own reason can fade. "I draw because I love it" quietly becomes "I draw to get a certificate."

What later research found

One study is never the whole story. In 1999, Edward Deci, Richard Koestner and Richard Ryan pulled together 128 experiments in a meta-analysis. Their findings, in plain terms:

• Expected, tangible rewards (stickers, money, prizes promised in advance for doing an interesting task) tended to undermine people's own interest in it.
• Verbal praise tended to support it, especially when it was informative rather than controlling.

Researchers still debate the details, and the effect isn't universal. But the overall pattern has held up well enough to take seriously.

Why it happens: the three needs

Deci and Ryan's self-determination theory offers an explanation. It says people thrive when three basic needs are met:

• Autonomy: feeling that you chose to do something
• Competence: feeling capable and effective
• Relatedness: feeling connected to others

Rewards can backfire when they feel controlling, chipping away at autonomy. They can help when they give useful information about competence ("You got so much faster at that!").

What this means for parents

You don't have to throw out every reward. Use them thoughtfully:

1. Don't reward what they already love. If your kid reads for fun, a prize per book can turn a passion into a job.
2. Use rewards to get started, then let them fade. Rewards can help with a new, unappealing task, but the goal is for the skill to stand on its own.
3. Praise effort and growth specifically. "You read the whole recipe before you started. That's how real cooks do it." That supports competence.
4. Offer choices. "Do you want to do the dishes or the vacuuming?" supports autonomy.
5. Make it about who they are. "You're someone who helps" lasts longer than "you'll get a sticker."
6. Avoid surprise-free, guaranteed payment for everything. Many families keep everyday family jobs unpaid, and pay only for extra work.

How we built this into Family Quests

We took this research seriously when designing the app:

• Kids earn coins for practice quests, but XP is never spent: their progress can't be traded away.
• Boss quests earn titles and grow the kid's home base, not just coins. The aim is identity: "I'm someone who cooks."
• Parents add real-world rewards (pick the movie, a park trip), favoring experiences and time together over stuff.
• No loot boxes, no random prizes, no streak-shaming. Nothing designed to keep kids hooked.

The bottom line

Rewards are a tool, not a strategy. Use them to help kids get started, praise effort honestly, give real choices, and step back as the skill becomes theirs. The goal isn't kids who work for stickers. It's kids who do things because they can, and because they care.

Related: why chores matter and money habits for kids.