How to help your kid practice an instrument, dance or art (without the battles)

"Did you practice?" might be the most-argued question in families with music lessons. Practice is where the progress happens, but it's also where kids get bored, frustrated and stuck. The secret isn't more time. It's better practice: short, focused, and aimed at the hard parts.

What research says about practice

In a 2014 analysis of 88 studies with more than 11,000 participants, researchers from Rice, Princeton and Michigan State found that focused, structured practice explained about 21% of the differences in music performance, 26% in games and 18% in sports. That's a real chunk, though less than some earlier claims. Other factors matter too. As one researcher put it, "no one says that practice will ever hurt you."

The takeaway for parents: practice matters, but it isn't everything. Don't let a child feel that being slower than a friend means they didn't try hard enough.

What schools aim for. The National Core Arts Standards include developing and refining techniques and work for presentation, and conveying meaning through presentation. Practicing toward a family performance does both.

Skill 1: Fifteen minutes of focused practice

1. Pick one thing to work on.
2. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
3. Practice the tricky part slowly.
4. Note one thing that got better.

Short and focused beats long and aimless. Fifteen minutes on the hard measure, the tricky dance turn or the hands in a drawing does more than an hour of playing the parts you already know.

Slow is the secret. Playing a tricky passage slowly and correctly, then speeding up, works better than playing it fast and wrong over and over.

Noting one improvement builds motivation. "My left hand doesn't get lost in measure 12 anymore" is something to feel good about.

Same time every day makes it a habit, not a fight. Right after school snack or before dinner works for many families.

Skill 2: Learn one new song or technique

1. Pick one new song or skill.
2. Break it into small parts.
3. Practice one part at a time.
4. Put the parts together.

Chunking is how professionals learn. A new song gets split into sections of a few measures. A dance gets split into eight-counts. A drawing technique like shading gets practiced on a simple sphere before a portrait.

Where to learn: a teacher, a library book, or a video your grown-up picks. Videos are great for watching a technique up close and slowing it down.

The challenge: perform after two weeks of practice

The mastery goal is to perform a piece for the family after two weeks of practice.

1. Practice a little on most days.
2. Mark each practice on the calendar.
3. Pick a showtime and invite your family.
4. Perform it, then take a bow.

The calendar is powerful. A row of checkmarks shows effort you can see. The CDC's tips for ages 9 to 11 include helping kids set their own goals and think about skills they want to develop.

A performance gives practice a purpose. Knowing the family show is on Saturday makes Tuesday's practice matter.

Make the audience a good one. Sit and listen, no phones. Clap at the end. If there's a mistake, the rule is: keep going. Real performers make mistakes all the time and carry on.

Ending the practice battles

• Let them choose some of what they practice, and sometimes their instrument or art form.
• Praise the practicing, not just the result. The CDC suggests helping children think about their own accomplishments, like saying "you must be proud of yourself."
• Don't hover, but stay nearby and interested.
• It's OK to switch. A kid who's miserable with piano after a fair try might love drums or dance. The habit of practice carries over.

Make it a quest

In Family Quests, this is the Practice Pro skill. Practice quests are 15 minutes of instrument, dance or drawing practice and learn one new song or technique, and the mastery quest is perform a piece for the family after two weeks of practice. Streaks in Family Quests allow one rest day a week, so a day off doesn't break the habit. Start free.

Next: help your kid finish a creative project, or read about practicing a sport skill.