How to teach your kid persuasive writing (and pitch it at a family meeting)

"Can we get a dog? Please? Please? PLEASE?" Every parent has heard this argument. It's not a very good one. But the instinct behind it, wanting to change someone's mind, is the start of one of the most useful writing skills there is: persuasion.

Kids 10 to 12 are ready to learn the grown-up version: a clear request, good reasons, an answer to the other side's worries, and a polite ask.

Why it's worth teaching

The U.S. Institute of Education Sciences' guide on teaching elementary writing gives its strong evidence rating to teaching children to use the writing process for a variety of purposes. Persuading is one of the most important. It also recommends teaching sentence construction and creating an engaged community of writers: people who read and respond to each other's work.

The CDC notes that children 9 to 11 begin to see the point of view of others more clearly. That's the key to good persuasion: understanding what the other person cares about. The CDC also suggests that giving reasons for rules helps kids understand them, so it's fair for kids to practice giving reasons back.

Skill 1: Write a short argument for a family decision

1. Say what you want, in one sentence.
2. Give three good reasons.
3. Answer one worry someone might have.
4. End by asking politely.

An example:

I think our family should get a cat. First, a cat doesn't need to be walked, so it fits our busy schedule. Second, I will feed it every morning and clean the litter box every two days. Third, I'll make a chart so everyone knows whose turn it is to play with it. You might worry that cats are expensive, but I've found that the shelter charges an adoption fee, and I'll put some of my savings toward it. Could we visit the shelter this weekend to learn more?

Coach the reasons. Good reasons are about what the reader cares about. "Because I want one" is a feeling, not a reason. "I'll take care of it, and here's how" answers a parent's real worry.

Answering the worry is the advanced move. It shows you understand the other side, and it's often what changes a mind.

Skill 2: Revise a draft using feedback

1. Ask a grown-up what could be better.
2. Pick two things to fix.
3. Rewrite those parts.
4. Compare the old and new versions.

Revising is the heart of the writing process. Feedback works best when it's specific: "Your second reason is really convincing. Your first one could use an example," not "Make it better."

Two things, not ten. A draft covered in corrections is discouraging. Pick the two changes that would help most.

Comparing the versions side by side is powerful. Kids can see their own writing improve, which is the best motivation there is.

The challenge: present a proposal at a family meeting

The mastery goal is to present a written proposal at a family meeting and answer questions.

1. Write your proposal, with reasons and a plan.
2. Ask for a spot at the family meeting.
3. Present it clearly and calmly.
4. Listen to questions and answer them.

About family meetings: the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests holding them at a regular, pleasant time, like after dinner, keeping them to 20 or 30 minutes, letting each family member speak without criticism or interruption, and writing down agreements. It also says everyone should understand that parents have the final word on difficult decisions.

That last point matters. Make it clear up front that a great proposal doesn't guarantee a yes. The goal is a fair hearing and a real answer. If the answer is no, explain why, and maybe what would change your mind. If it's "not yet," say what would need to happen first.

Proposals that work well at this age: a later bedtime on weekends, a new family tradition, a pet, how to spend a family day, a change to the chore chart.

Coaching tips

• Take it seriously. Kids learn persuasion when it can actually work sometimes.
• Teach the difference between persuading and pestering. One well-written proposal beats fifty "pleases."
• Model it. When you make a family decision, share your reasons.

Make it a quest

In Family Quests, this is the Persuader skill. Practice quests are write a short argument for a family decision (a pet, a trip) and revise one draft using feedback, and the mastery quest is present a written proposal at a family meeting. Start free.

Next: teach your kid to write letters and emails, or go back to clear instructions.