How to teach your kid to write polite emails and letters that get results

By 10 to 12, kids start needing to write to real people outside the family: a teacher about a missed assignment, a coach about a schedule, the library about a book they'd love to see on the shelves. Knowing how to write a clear, polite message is one of the most practical skills a kid can have. It's also a first taste of something bigger: using writing to make a difference.

Why it matters

The U.S. Institute of Education Sciences' guide on teaching elementary writing gives its strong evidence rating to teaching the writing process for a variety of purposes, and recommends helping kids become fluent with sentence construction, typing and word processing. A real email to a real person uses all of it.

The CDC's tips for ages 9 to 11 include talking with your child about respecting others, encouraging them to help people in need, and helping them set their own goals. A polite letter about something they care about does all three.

Skill 1: Write a polite email to a teacher or coach

1. Start with "Dear," and their name. "Dear Ms. Patel," or "Dear Coach Rivera,"
2. Say why you're writing, clearly and politely, in the first sentence or two.
3. End with thank you and your first name.
4. Your grown-up reads it and sends it.

An example:

Dear Ms. Patel,

I was sick on Tuesday and missed the science worksheet. Could you tell me what I need to do to catch up?

Thank you, Sam

What makes an email work:

• Get to the point. The first line should say what you need.
• Be specific. "The science worksheet from Tuesday," not "the stuff I missed."
• One email, one topic.
• Polite, not stiff. "Could you…" and "Thank you" go a long way.
• Reread before sending. Is anything confusing? Any typos?

Why the grown-up sends it: kids in Family Quests never have their own email accounts. Your child writes the message; you check it and send it from your account.

Skill 2: Proofread a family member's message

Proofreading someone else's writing is easier than proofreading your own, and it's great practice.

1. Read it slowly, out loud.
2. Look for spelling mistakes.
3. Check capitals and periods.
4. Suggest fixes kindly.

"Kindly" is the key word. "I think 'their' should be 'there' here" is helpful. "You spelled this wrong!" isn't. Learning to give feedback gently is as valuable as spotting the mistake.

Grown-ups: hand over a real email or birthday card message and let your child find your mistakes. Kids love catching a parent's typo.

The challenge: write to a local official or business

The mastery goal is to write a letter to a local official or business about something you care about.

1. Pick one thing you'd like to change: a broken swing at the park, a crosswalk that feels unsafe, more recycling bins, a book the library should carry.
2. Explain why it matters, with a reason or two.
3. Ask politely for what you'd like.
4. Your grown-up checks it and sends it.

Who to write to: for local issues, think mayor, city council, school board, parks department or the library. USAGov's elected officials page links to directories for federal, state and local officials, including mayors and county executives.

Keep expectations realistic. Not every letter gets an answer, and not every answer is yes. But a polite, specific letter gives you the best chance of a reply, and writing it is a real accomplishment either way. (More on making a case in persuasive writing.)

Don't forget thank-yous. If someone writes back or fixes the swing, a thank-you note closes the loop. A 2018 study found people underestimate how much a letter of thanks means to the person who gets it. (More in kind notes and thank-yous.)

Privacy first

Letters and emails carry names, addresses and email addresses. A few rules:

• The grown-up handles addresses, on envelopes and in the "To" line.
• Kids sign with their first name.
• The grown-up sends, from their own account.

Make it a quest

In Family Quests, this is the Correspondent skill, the top of the Writing branch. Practice quests are write a polite email to a teacher or coach and proofread a family member's message, and the mastery quest is write a letter to a local official or business about something you care about. Because letters and emails carry names and addresses, these quests never ask for photos. Your child taps "I did it" or sends a voice note, and you approve it. Start free.

Next: go back to persuasive writing, or to kind notes and thank-yous.